• inboxity : Humorous

Unsuccessful Hallmark Greetings

1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy--'Cause when I got mine I felt real snippy!

2. I heard you have herpes and I feel terrible! I'd say "Get Well Soon", but I know it's incurable!

3. My tire was thumping and I thought it was flat--I looked on the tire and found your cat! Sorry!

4. You had your bladder removed, and you're on the mends--here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends!

5. You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh--when they find out you're one of the Joint Chief of Staff!

6. So your daughter's a hooker and it spoiled your day--look at the bright side, she's a really good lay!

7. Heard your wife left you...How upset you must be...Don't worry about her though--she's moving in with me!

8. Your computer is dead, it was so alive--You shouldn't have installed Win '95!

9. You totalled your car and can't remember why--maybe it was that case of BUD DRY!

10. So you lost your job, it's a hardship in life--Next time work harder and stay away from the bosses wife!

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Tags: unsuccessful hallmark greetings vasectomy tires bouquet flowers hooker wife computer car funny time lost

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